I asked ChatGPT to Help Decide My Vote for the Presidential Election 2024

In a world where, everything is now ChatGPT’d for double checking, I decided to ask the beloved LLM platform to help me decide on my precious vote for the election of 2024.

I have chosen my Top 5 candidates based on individual merits (comedic reasons obviously), likenesses & my inherent, lowkey political choice. The last candidate here is for lolz. (obviously. I want to fight that guy)

I am going to run a very simple prompt ” Tell Me Why I should vote (candidate name) that help my country prosper in the next 5 years. Please use facts that you know. Give me a specific answer. no bull“.

This is for comital reasons. If anyone wants to threaten or harm my life – please note that I welcome that shit with open arms. (life’s been tough lately).

Firstly; I will brief my personal political on each candidate – because I’m single now and no one really has time to fondle my ego (balls).

Ok Lessgoo Skibbi.

Ranil Wickramasinghe

Knowing this guy has always looked this way since the day i remember; I am prolly going to vote for this guy for his education and experience in the industry. However; in the forums where Ranil shows off his intellect; what I have been told is that – this dude pre-preps his political wisdom quotes & would wreck your political future if you don’t align with his views. ( Fair ). Learn or Depart –  amiright my bois?

In the terms of the allegations for the Batalanda Torture Prison; My bizzare ; non humanist perception is: ( sometimes you got to interrogate devils to save the innocent. I would place my Torture chamber in a cooler sounding city (ie: Kokmaduwa- Matara)

However; lets hear what the robot has to say.

Basically –

[Ranil Wickremesinghe, the current President of Sri Lanka, presents a few specific arguments that some may find compelling when considering voting for him for the next five years:

• Economic Stabilization and Debt Management: Wickremesinghe has been at the helm during a period of serious economic instability. After assuming the presidency in 2022 during the height of Sri Lanka’s financial crisis, he initiated policies to restore macroeconomic stability, including securing a $2.9 billion bailout package from the International Monetary Fund (IMF). His government has focused on reducing debt and improving the country’s credit rating. Given the severity of the crisis Sri Lanka faced, his leadership has helped stabilize inflation and ensure that essential goods are available again after major shortages.             – Fact – True & Fair

1. Rebuilding International Relations: Wickremesinghe has worked on restoring Sri Lanka’s international credibility, especially with global financial institutions and key countries like China, India, and the West. His handling of international negotiations with creditors and his work to secure favorable terms for debt restructuring could provide the foundation for long-term economic recovery. This is vital in the context of rebuilding trust with foreign investors.
2. Fiscal Discipline and Reforms: His government has introduced tough fiscal policies aimed at reducing the budget deficit. This includes reforms in tax policy, improving revenue collection, and cutting back on wasteful public expenditure. Though unpopular in the short term, these are crucial steps for putting Sri Lanka on a sustainable growth path over the next few years.
3. Focus on Renewable Energy and Sustainability: Wickremesinghe has voiced a strong commitment to moving Sri Lanka towards a greener economy. He has pledged investments in renewable energy and sustainability initiatives, which could not only reduce the country’s energy dependency but also attract foreign investments in green technology and innovation, leading to potential economic growth.
4. Political Stability in a Turbulent Time: While his leadership style is often criticized as being technocratic and elite-focused, Wickremesinghe has also brought relative calm and order after a chaotic period of protests and political instability in 2022. This stability might allow for smoother governance and a more predictable business environment, which is key for attracting both local and international investment over the next five years. ]

Pretty much how i expect this prompt to turn out. 

Now on to the next boss.

Anura Kumara Dissanayake

The most confusing politician in terms of brand positioning from this guy. I mean bro; are you a socialist, a smarty pants or even Pansexual ? What kind of Che Guevara son  of god wears a Rolex and iPhone funded by the bros. Also bro; go to a dermatologist and get that mole removed bro.

But i feel this guy would be the perfect Opposition Leader. He can criticize the system in the most eloquent fashion & personally I vibe with the guy. (Not President Ready Yet)

The two missing years on this dude’s history leaves me skeptical. I feel like that’s Bad PR Management. My boy needs smarter brains handling his digital marketing. (hire me- I’m a Freelancer)

I feel like no one taught the socialists marketing. Because in a graph where ideologies and practicality are the X-Y coordinates – this dude is all over the place. – With good intention no doubt.

His Prompt result is as follows:

If you are considering voting for Anura Kumara Dissanayake in Sri Lanka’s upcoming election, here are some reasons why he might be seen as a candidate who could help the country prosper over the next five years:

1. Anti-Corruption and Governance: Anura Kumara Dissanayake is known for his strong stance against corruption, a critical issue in Sri Lanka. As the leader of the Janatha Vimukthi Peramuna (JVP), he has consistently pushed for transparency and accountability in government. If Sri Lanka can reduce corruption, it could free up more resources for development and reduce wastage of public funds.
2. Pro-People Policies: Dissanayake advocates for a more equitable distribution of wealth and resources, aiming to address income inequality and improve the living standards of the working class. His party emphasizes social welfare, education, and healthcare reform, which could improve the quality of life for the majority of Sri Lankans, especially the underprivileged.
3. Economic Reform: He has spoken about reducing Sri Lanka’s reliance on debt and addressing the structural issues within the economy. His policies include focusing on local industries, agriculture, and self-sufficiency, which can help build a more resilient economy in the long run.
4. Environmental Sustainability: Dissanayake’s approach includes a focus on environmental protection and sustainable development. As Sri Lanka faces climate-related challenges, a shift toward greener policies could not only help safeguard the environment but also open up new economic opportunities in green industries.
5. Political Consistency: Unlike many traditional political figures in Sri Lanka, Anura Kumara Dissanayake has maintained a consistent political ideology over the years. This consistency in advocating for leftist, pro-worker, and anti-neoliberal policies may suggest he won’t be easily swayed by external or elite pressures, providing a stable direction for governance.

If you prioritize anti-corruption, economic self-reliance, social justice, and environmental sustainability, these are areas where Anura Kumara Dissanayake’s policies align. However, like any political decision, it’s important to critically evaluate his track record, team, and ability to execute these plans within Sri Lanka’s political framework.

Okay. I get it. but I will stick to opinion. Respectfully. Of course. 

Now this is my brother

Sajith Premadasa

I think if i met Sajith Premadasa in real life, I can guarantee that we will be Bros by the end of the meeting. This guy is fucking hilarious. Lot of opportunity cost in the meme potential if this guy gets away from the spotlight. Me and Sajja could have bonded over jamming music and playing bball & (hentai).

My boy was born to a Daddy President – I bet this dude has an impressive Pokemon Collection or a Classic Vinyl Player (Gramophone and the whole shit) It’s usually one of the two with rich spoilt chad brats.

But throughout the vibe – my boy Sajja gives no bad vibes. (except may be for the demons he chased uncovering all those nidan).

Real Talk – I believe this dude will stay in the parliament – but would graciously accept defeat and bounce without being a narcissistic, evil, undying Mad Max villain that feeds on the blood of virgin children. Yeah you know who. (You’re seeing that mesmerizing smile) Third time’s  the charm daddy.

Sajja’s Prompt result is as follows:

Sajith Premadasa could be a strong candidate to help Sri Lanka prosper in the next five years due to several key factors:

1. Focus on Economic Revitalization: Premadasa has consistently advocated for policies aimed at economic recovery and growth. In a country suffering from high inflation, unemployment, and a significant debt crisis, his commitment to boosting small and medium enterprises (SMEs) and providing more support for local industries could lead to job creation and stabilize the economy.
2. Social Welfare Programs: His father, Ranasinghe Premadasa, was known for championing housing and poverty alleviation programs. Sajith follows a similar vision with his “Samagi Jana Balawegaya” party, which emphasizes enhancing social welfare programs for the poor, including better housing, healthcare, and education. His policies could create a safety net for the most vulnerable citizens, reducing poverty and improving overall living standards.
3. Pragmatic Leadership Style: Unlike some politicians who focus on rhetoric, Premadasa has emphasized tangible, grassroots development projects. His track record as the Minister of Housing and Construction showed a clear focus on delivering infrastructure projects and ensuring that development reaches rural areas. A focus on rural development could bridge the urban-rural divide in Sri Lanka.
4. Transparency and Anti-Corruption: Premadasa has spoken out against corruption, a critical issue in Sri Lanka’s political landscape. If his leadership can genuinely address corruption and increase transparency in governance, this would be a major boost for foreign investment and public trust.
5. Youth and Education Initiatives: Sri Lanka has a young population, and Premadasa’s platform includes improving access to education, vocational training, and tech development. Focusing on these areas can equip Sri Lanka’s youth with the skills needed to compete in the global economy, fostering innovation and economic diversification.

In the next five years, Premadasa’s economic, social, and anti-corruption focus could lead to a more stable and equitable growth path for Sri Lanka.

I will vote for my guy- solely for vibes.

Seelarathana Thero

This is my new thero Friend from a rollercoaster of favourite Theros in the past few years. I have nothing but love for this monk & He is sweet in contrast to the polyamorous Vishwa Buddha & the angry fat fuck Rajanganey Hamuduruwo.

My Third Vote will go for my G Seelarathana because – He is Pro Cannabis Legalization & Agriculture, in addition he hold some sweet nationalist views.

His holiness’ Prompt result is as follows:

Ok no Cap. I wish I had more votes to give my thero.

Namal Rajapakshe

So during the school days my elder bro was in the same classroom as Namal; apparently he has stolen the hoe of my bros best friend at the time (Chris Aiya). However; I do not vibe with Namal & I love chris aiya so; Namal you are my enemy. (This is outside of political crap you spew)

Also – the thing about having children. Maybe your son is a fucking retard that needs a few practice presidential runs to get him used to his actual election in a few more years. Remember guys to tilt a constitution all it takes a little C4 & Infidels.

Namal Baby’s Prompt result is as follows:

Namal Rajapaksa, a member of Sri Lanka’s prominent political Rajapaksa family, has been active in promoting development policies in areas like infrastructure, digital economy, and youth empowerment. If you’re considering voting for him, here are specific reasons based on his public record:

Focus on Digital Transformation: Namal has been vocal about integrating technology into governance and education, aiming to make Sri Lanka a tech hub. His support for initiatives like digitizing government services and promoting startups could modernize key sectors, increasing efficiency and transparency.

Youth and Sports Development: As a former Minister of Sports, he pushed for youth empowerment programs and sports development, arguing that these are key to social mobility and national pride. His policies have aimed at increasing access to international sports platforms for young Sri Lankans, which could drive long-term growth in both talent development and tourism.

Infrastructure Projects: Namal supports the continuation of large infrastructure projects, such as highways, ports, and airports. These projects, initiated during the Rajapaksa family’s time in power, aim to boost economic growth through enhanced logistics, trade, and tourism.

Economic Recovery Focus: Namal advocates for revitalizing tourism and increasing foreign investments, especially in sectors like IT, agriculture, and manufacturing. His emphasis on attracting foreign direct investment could help mitigate Sri Lanka’s economic challenges and job shortages in the near future.

Strong Family Influence: As a member of the Rajapaksa dynasty, Namal has significant political influence, which could enable him to drive policies quickly. While this concentration of power has its drawbacks, it also means he could leverage established political connections for policy execution.

However, it’s essential to weigh these factors alongside the Rajapaksa family’s mixed legacy, particularly regarding financial mismanagement allegations and the handling of the country’s economic crisis.

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The AI must be thinking – ok this guy is clearly retarded or he is doing research.

Anyways don’t matter. (Like Tharjudeen’s Hopes & Dreams)

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Go Vote You Guys !!! Much Love..

Sahan De Alwis.

(PS – If they get me- they will make it look like suicide or road accident)